Monday, 15 August 2016

Things you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman

I'm not sure what it is about pregnancy that kicks common sense out the window - and I'm not talking about the woman. I'm talking about other people.
If you search the internet you can find numerous blog posts and forum discussions about the ridiculous, and sometimes just plain rude, things pregnant women have had said to them.
So here, in no particular order, are some of things that I had said to me:

  • Has it not sunk in yet?
This was said to me a lot and throughout the pregnancy. Usually because when asked how I was I would say I was fine. It seemed to be the general opinion that just because I wasn't riding an emotional roller coaster or freaking out about A, B  or C that the reason was I simply hadn't come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant.
  • I think you'll find....
A favourite saying of my mother's and I had it from a few other people too. This was said to me rather imperiously about various things, one of which was during the argument I had with my mother about buying a baby bath.
"I think you'll find you'll need one," my mother intoned in Mama's & Papa's. Well, my son is 3 months old and I haven't needed one yet. (So there!)
  • You're getting big/your bump's grown etc
I spent many days suppressing sarcastic answers to this. People would always say it to me with such surprise. It was even worse when said to someone else about me. In fact I once had two people have an entire conversation about me, my pregnancy and what I was likely to experience as a parent and how I'd cope with it over the top of my head as though I weren't there.
  • It's scary (in reference to growing bump)
This wasn't said to me by a man, surprisingly, but by a woman. She would say it to me every. Single. Week.
Erm, no, actually I'm not spawning a harbinger of doom. I'm growing a beautiful baby and it's wonderful.
  • You've got all this to look forward to
A popular thing for people with older children to say, but considering it was said to me by a woman whose younger daughter and son that she had with her current husband hated her older son by her first marriage and she was telling me a story of how they'd hidden dog poo around his room when they went on holiday to Centre Parcs and poked holes in all his condoms oh, and that her younger son was too stupid not to take drugs...
Well, what are the chances?
  • Are you nervous [about labour]? I'd be petrified
Said to me by a man, so perhaps I can excuse his ignorance of the process, but I'm not sure about letting him off for saying it to a first-time mother.
  • Wow, you're organised/prepared
At 8 months pregnant should it really be that surprising that I'd bought all my cloth nappies and packed my hospital bag and set up the nursery etc etc...?
  • Was it planned?
Think about what you're actually asking me, here. I mean, really....
  • Oh, so you're keeping it a secret
We had this a few times when people asked the gender and we said we didn't know. This was immediately greeted, rather irritably, by the above statement. Erm, no, I'm not lying about this just to spite you - we have in fact elected to wait to find out the gender of our baby.
  • Oh bless her, she's nesting!
Again said about me to someone else. Honestly, as I'm just about to have a baby and will therefore have my hands rather full, my weekends will inevitably be filled with the household chores that won't get done again for a while. If you can't understand that, don't ask what I did at the weekend!
  • Your hair looks great, but wait until the baby starts pulling on it
Erm... thanks? Was that a compliment or something designed to make me feel badly about my hair cut? While we're at it, exactly what would be the ideal length of hair to stop baby pulling on it, because unless I shave it all off - it's going to get grabbed?